Better Relationships Part One

Assertiveness: Being assertive - an honest and direct communication without blame. It is a form of communication that is neither manipulative nor aggressive. It is designed to enable both parties to be heard without creating hurt or distress, and leaves the situation open for further discussion. Assertiveness provides the following 'rights': 

Everyone has the right to say 'no' without feeling awkward, uncomfortable or guilty. Everyone has the right to change their mind. Everyone has the right to ask questions. Everyone has the right to make mistakes (providing they learn from them). Everyone has the right to ask for help. Everyone has the right to ask for what they want.  Everyone has the right to get what they want, need or desire (in ways that do not hard others). Everyone has the right to self esteem, and to feel good about their capabilities, talents, experience, achievements, etc., (providing these do not harm others). 

The Birch Tree

From “Tree Wisdom - The Definitive Guidebook to Myth, Folklore and Healing Power of Trees”  by Jacqueline Memory Paterson. 

The birch tree is known as the lady of the woods. It is a womanly, constant and friendly, a tree of enchantment. When seen in the Moonlight, it presents its most outstanding feature, a gleaming silver bark, which Legends throughout Europe described as the hallmark of the fairy. This white bark also gleams attractively in the Sun and shows the lightness of the tree’s spirit, the ethereal beauty of the innocent, dancing quality of the female in nature, with delicate branches, and leaves to match. It is the tree of love, protection and purification. Birch wind has special properties. 

As Birch is one of the first trees to leaf in spring. It is known as the tree of inception.It is also seen as a treat of purification, cleansing the old to make way for the new. At the ancient Beltane festivities, Birch twigs were used to light the oak fires, and traditionally the May day love making was enjoyed in a Birchwood or forest. Being a white tree, a silver birch, what is seen to have the ability to ward off evil or negative spirits. Traditionally, Birch rods were used to drive out the spirit of the old year and for beating the bounds of the parish. They were also used in the none too kind practice of beating spirits and demons out of lunatics. The Romans carried Birch rods when they installed their Consuls, no doubt to beat back the crowds in an early use of caning. 

The birch is believed to grow at the gates of paradise. It is primarily a tree of the Sun and sky. When use for the first ogham inscription in Ireland, the Birch became associated with sun. God Lugh, for this first inscription warned him that his wife was being taken away to the land of fairy. Birch is dedicated to the Norse goddess. Frigga, goddess of married love and the sky and clouds. She became Odin’s wife. Frigga had 11 handmaidens who aided her in caring for humanity, and she pun golden threads, and the rainbows of spring. It was believed that she had seven mortal sons who founded the seven Saxon kingdoms of England.

The name batch is thought to have derived from the Sanskrit word, which means a tree has Barkers used to write upon. The second king of Rome, successor to Romulus, is said to have written books on birchbark in 700 BC, which legend says are buried along with the author. In all probability, because of the indestructible quality of birchbark, these books would still be in good repair if found. So far, this has not occurred. Birch has great healing properties, including the fragrance it emits after the rain. Brooms were made from birch sticks and twigs. 

Circus - A Story

 “When I was a teenager, my father and I were standing in line to buy tickets for the circus. In front of us there were eight children, probably under the age of 12. The way they were dressed, you could tell they didn't have a lot of money. The children were well-behaved, standing in line behind their parents. They were excited about the acts they would be seeing.

The ticket lady asked the man how many tickets he wanted? He responded, "I'd like to buy eight children's tickets and two adults." The ticket lady stated the price! The man's lip began to quiver. Then he leaned a little closer and asked, "How much did you say?" The ticket lady again stated the price. He didn't have enough money. How could he tell his eight children?

Sacred Wild Woman Medicine - A Challenge!

Who are you becoming?

"I don’t care how spiritual you are. How long you can melt in the sweat lodge. How many peyote journeys that have blown your mind, or how well you can hold crow pose. Honestly. I don’t.

I don’t care what planets fall in what houses on your birth chart, how many crystals you have or how vegan your diet is.

I want to know how human you are. Can you sit at the feet of the dying despite the discomfort? Can you be with your grief, or mine, without trying to advise, fix or maintain it?   want to know that you can show up at the table no matter how shiny, chakra- aligned or complete you are- or not.

Can you hold loving space for your beloved in the depths of your own healing without trying to be big?

It doesn’t flatter me how many online healing trainings you have, that you live in the desert or in a log cabin, or that you’ve mastered the art of tantra.

Shrines of France - A Visit

I left London with my travelling companion, Laura, firstly to visit the chapel and castle of St Mesmin. The traffic was congested so we continued on to the city of Orleans. This was an ancient town in 1424 when an illiterate girl, only 12 years old, saw visions and heard voices of the saints, Michael the archangel, Catherine of Antioch and Margaret. She also communed with the archangel Gabriel. Their voices inspired her to lead French armies in victory against the English during the Hundred Years War, restoring the crown to Charles VII. Shockingly, she was betrayed by the British, tried in court and burnt at the stake as a witch in 1431. We wondered why Michael and Margaret, both dragon slaying saints and therefore both related to leylines, were involved in Joan’s mission and we discovered strong leys in the area of Orleans. We visited the house in Donremy where Joan or Jean - the female form of John - was born and said mass in the thirteenth century church where she prayed. The original statue of St Margaret is there before which Joan prayed. It is a particularly powerful statue and myself and my colleague received an outpouring of love and strength, and we also received a message about the pointlessness and poisonousness of war, it's swings and roundabouts, and losses that last for generations. The energies in the forest where Joan received her first messages from the saints we’re still there to experience.  The spring - which in ancient times provided healing for those with fever and which the judge questioned her about during her trial - registers extraordinary energies. In the local town of Greux is a special shrine to St Margaret whose energies are very powerful.

Force Field Analysis No 6

Examine and describe in detail your values, motives, emotions, beliefs, attitudes, intentions, abilities, traits, and personality type. 

Relationships can provide health, wellbeing, contentment, harmony, joy, and ecstasy, as well as fear, distress, ill-health, wasted years of life and pain, tears and suffering. What do relationships mean to us, how do we maintain good relationships, how do we nourish and support those whom we love? How do we neglect, starve and undermine ourselves and others? 

The Golden Rule: Temperance (balance), humility, integrity, industry, simplicity, modesty, courage, justice, patience. 

Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. 

Questions to ask yourself for personal growth and self development! Becoming a person of excellence!

How do you damage your own life?

Do you damage the lives of other people?

Can you accept the treasure that is in yourself accepting you are not perfect?

Can you accept the treasure that is in another person accepting they are not perfect?

Are you too sensitive? Do you over react? Do you accuse or bully?

Can you expand on narrow thinking to be a person of generosity and kindness?

Do you limit your love and caring?

Pagan Ireland

Christianity and Paganism - A Comparison 

I often hear pagans criticising Christianity, but I don’t hear Christians criticising Paganism! Paganism has much to recommend it. It’s adherence to caring about pollution, climate change and species extinction is exemplary and our planet needs this emphasis! Paganism offers equality, so males should not take precedence over females, but Christianity is catching up, offering greater prominent roles for females. 

The Pagan pantheon does not promote the written commandments of Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Their pantheon of gods and goddesses could be said to be a dysfunctional royal court in the sky. Where are the role models for good leadership and good relationships? Pagan or not, in a world of division and violence, it is important that we have balance and accuracy - and praise for the goodness that people bring into the world from whatever place.