Better Relationships - Part Two

Validate what you like in the Other person - their values, actions, skills and abilities. Look for areas of rapport, agreement and similarities. Ask genuine interest questions and be open to speaking your truth and to listening with an open heart. Want the best for the Other, so they can be confident, content and productive in their life. Focus on a way forward to always improve the quality of the relationship, setting daily goals to please each other. Expect the best and give the best, but bear in mind that some people are naturally better at relationships due to empathy, being articulate and being more consistent and steady in their thinking and relating style.Women are usually better at collaborations than men, though there are exceptions. 

Can you discuss everything, your priorities, hopes, and ambitions, your personal thoughts and feelings, even those that other people might not like? Do you feel fully accepted as a person and do you feel you develop yourself with this person, growing in understanding of yourself and of them too? What are your criteria for a relationship and does this person tick your boxes?What are the boxes. Define what you are looking for in your relationship. Do you think you are a good match? Are you close friends who communicate well or do you feel you need to put on an act or a mask to please this person? 

Does this person share their thoughts and feelings with you? Are they able to share power in a way that is equal and comfortable or is everything on their terms? Do they try to control, manipulate or exploit your friendship? Do you have complete freedom to be yourself at all times? Do they have addictions or obsessions and are they prepared to eliminate these in order to have your friendship? Can you provide a bridge? Can you find a way to relate? What needs to be uncovered? Is there a secret that is preventing progress and trust? What needs verification. Where is the evidence? Sometimes, something needs to be given up, for something to be gained! 

People are breakable! Always move in the direction of Healing with loving and thoughtful gentleness: Seek out events that change the internal messages we gave ourself or what others gave to us. Write them down and contest each one. What event would heal the memory of the event that caused the wound? 

By Wendy Stokes https://wendystokes.co.uk