Better Relationships - Part Three

Towards creating better relationships: 

Cut out negative self talk. Admit and celebrate differences. What do you need to do differently? 

Get a picture in your mind’s eye of a typical difficult situation. Reduce it in size, colour and volume. Replace the negative scene with a positive memory. Increase the colour, volume and size. 

Ask questions! Why do you say that? Can you give me an example? What is the cause of the problem? How can we resolve this so we can move forward? Answer with thoughtful caring: I apologise for my part in that because I didn’t notice. I understand you are angry with me about that and I will be careful not to repeat it.

Relating styles: 

Prescriptive - this is what you should do!  

Informative: I share this knowledge with you.  

Confronting: You are not OK.  

Cathartic: Emotional.  

Catalytic: Reflective.  

Supportive: Empathic.  

Cognitive: Cerebral. 

Create a Resource Room for when you feel stressed. This has calm colours, beautiful and comfortable surroundings and gentle music. Remind yourself of your best, most positive and resourceful state of mind. Create core values that will enable you to offer a high quality relationship based on the following values: 

truth, kindness, consideration, compassion, empathy, trust, equality, balance, thoughtfulness, gentleness, tranquility, freedom, understanding, etc.

Meditate on these values which dissolve separation and conflict and make a pledge to move towards full enlightenment. 

Relationships can experience times of frustration, despair and distress, as well as times of harmony, contentment, joy, and ecstasy. Our previous relationships, especially those early in life, will govern how we relate for the rest of our life. Recognising our patterns, learning how we maintain and nourish and support those we are closest to can help us achieve good long lasting closeness with those we hold most dear.