Does this person like you, are they interested in you and in how you’re feeling? Do they listen to you and validate your emotions? Are they loving, do they appreciate you and feel proud to be with you? Do they treat you as an equal? Do they believe you are an individual and respect your independence? Do they get on with your friends and family? Do they make excuses for bad behaviour or apologise and make every effort not to upset you again? Can they admit to being wrong and take responsibility for their actions? Do they take an interest in your hobbies? Are they honest and straightforward? Do they play games with people’s feelings? Do they respect you and your choices and wants you to be happy? Do they try to push you into anything you’re uncomfortable with? Are they trustworthy? Do you feel safe and relaxed around them? Do they respect people and keep good company? Are they reliable? Do they understand that no means no? Do they keep secrets? Do they respect your privacy? Do they understand that everyone has a right to end the relationship.
False flags: Has their behaviour changed or worsened recently? Do they find it difficult to compromise if they don’t get their own way? Do they appreciate you or are they possessive or jealous? Do they ever call you names, threaten you, or try to make you feel bad? Do they demand you avoid your friends and family? Did they ever hurt you physically? Do they tell you what to do? Do they make it difficult for you to say no to things that you don’t want to do?
Wendy Stokes https://wendystokes.co.uk
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