Lee Harris wrote this song as a love letter to his Father. And as a way of having a difficult conversation with him, at a difficult time for the family.
"I wrote it at my piano in California, August of 2019, nine months before he died, and I trusted his soul would ‘hear’ me over in England. I had no intention at the time that this very personal song, would be released publicly. Nor did I realize that it would become increasingly relevant in our world the more we travelled through 2020.
"My dear Dad, David Ernest Harris, was diagnosed with bowel cancer in July of 2019, just a couple of weeks after Steven and I had visited him with my family in England. During that trip, he and several members of my family had attended our workshop in London, which was lovely for all of us. It always lit Dad up to be at our live events, and I loved nothing more than seeing he and my mum chatting to those who attended. So that day is now a very special memory.
A few weeks later (and after several years of declining health and various issues with his body), the cancer diagnosis was the latest blow to his spirit. It rocked him, my mum and all of us. Even though I didn’t feel the cancer would kill him, I did have a strong knowing that we wouldn’t have him for too much longer. So I took an unplanned solo trip back to the UK in September to spend a week with Mum and Dad. It was heavenly, and a real gift, and was the last time I spent with Dad where he had any energy to be social and outside the house. We did some special things together, but of course, I truly treasured all the ‘little’ moments with them - in the kitchen, chatting...just being together.
In November of 2019 Dad had an operation to remove the cancer, which he opted for over radiotherapy. After that he was never the same again. His already tired body was now exhausted, and his already labored breathing, was worse following the operation. After a sudden fall in the house in the middle of March 2020, he was taken to hospital.
Because of Covid, no-one was allowed in to see him. And after a few weeks in hospital, he was diagnosed with Covid even though he tested negative when he went in.
So we had to get used to phone calls as our way of connecting with him. He praised the staff in the hospital endlessly and we tried to support him and keep his spirits up, but it was tough. In recent years, my mum was diligently at his side for all of his hospital stays. This one, was very different.
The last day I spoke to him was on April 24th, and thank god I sang to him on that phone-call. I realised he probably wasn’t hearing any music and I had a feeling I needed to sing him the song ‘Edelweiss’. It is the song he always sang to me and my siblings when we were little kids, trying to fall asleep. A song he then sang to his 7 grandchildren in later years.
I wasn’t 100% sure he would be in the mood. It was harder for him to breathe at this point, even with oxygen, so he could get tired and phone calls were often abruptly cut short. But I asked his permission and he said yes, and he listened. He thanked me when I finished, said it was beautiful, and then said it was time to end the call.
It was the last conversation I would ever have with him. The next morning, my family called me to tell me he had died that night in his sleep.
What a strange human life we lead.... And what a ‘circle of life’ final phonecall, as I later reflected that my Dad would have been singing that song to me when he was the exact age I am now.
In the following days, my family asked me if they could play one of my songs at his funeral service, as a way of having me there. I was surprised but I Immediately thought of this song, which only existed on my iPhone as a private demo recording, captured from the top of my piano as I wrote it.
So I took it to Davor and we spent the next week recording and producing it. The song got hold of us both, and we spent many hours making it happen. Recording the song helped me grieve and there were plenty of abandoned takes in the vocal booth due to crying too much to sing. But it felt right. Steven, Davor and Eva (Davor’s girlfriend) also joined me as a backing choir on the final choruses, so we all ‘wrapped’ around Dad energetically. And he, us.
The version that was played at Dad’s funeral, is the INTIMATE MIX which we have now released as part of this new 3 track single for the song. It focuses more on the vocals, piano and strings than the album version does, so we are happy to put that version out into the world now. There is also an instrumental version that captures the beauty of the instruments and allows you to sing along with it, if desired.
Creating the song was cathartic for me, sure, but something else happened that week. The ending of the song and the lyric ‘Holding On’ was as far as I had got to with the writing. There was no ‘big finish’ like there is now, as when I wrote it, Dad was still here and contemplating life and Death. When we began work on it the week after Dad died, Davor came up with the ending melody and lyric of ‘Life Goes On’ and suddenly the song was complete. As was the cycle of life and death. The ‘transcendence’ of the death process was now present in the song and that was important to both Davor and I.
It was meant to be a personal song, for my family only, but the best songs are always the ones which are universal. We soon realised we should include it on the AWAKEN album, and we also made plans to make a video for it together in England, in the fall. But again, Covid travel restrictions intervened, so instead, our Slovenian filmmaking team and Davor, created this beautiful ‘short film’ to accompany the song.
We wanted to create a story that was as multi-dimensional and as cathartic as the song itself. And as I watched the final edit of the video the other day, with tears streaming down my face, I was so proud of Davor, Darko our cinematographer, the wonderful actors and the filmmaking team. And again, I was reminded how this journey is everyone’s story. I learnt of yet another friend who lost their parent just the other day, and so it goes on...
So we offer out this song and this video as a cathartic and healing moment, yes, but also a reminded to all of us TO LIVE. To live as fully as we can, while we can, in these temporary human bodies of ours.
I want to thank my dear mum Meryl, siblings Mark and Rachel and my whole family for being willing to let us put this song and video out into the wider world.
And I have to give Kudos to my beautiful Dad for lighting a fire underneath this song, and this video. I have felt him very strongly since he passed. And never more so than in this song, or this video."
Sending love and a hug to any of you who ‘know’ the story in this video.
Love you all,
Lee
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*Read the letter, hear the song, and watch the video we created for it here: https://www.leeharrisenergy.com/to-live-another-day
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