Some barriers to resolving disputes can be cultural, clashes in communication style, emotional defensiveness and frustrations, hidden agendas, lack of confidence, loss of focus, mismatched understanding, difference in vocabulary and terminology.
Pointers: stay with what is, be factual. Conflict is a boundary issue requiring possible mediation, negotiation or arbitration. Initiate problem solving as a conversation. Gain agreement to follow a process. Be clear about all issues. How far can you and they stretch? What is your priority? Can you separate the relationship from the problem? Are you prepared to work together or part ways? Separate the person from the problem. Are they prepared to work with you or not? Can you give this a time scale? Can you negotiate an outcome to your acceptance? What is your ultimate objective? Identify the other person’s strengths and weaknesses. Identify your own. What is your new learning? What is their new learning? Keep a record.
General tips: Do you have a negative belief cycle? How well do you cope with change? How well do you overcome setbacks? Can you meet regular challenges? How do you avoid unpleasant circumstances? What level of awareness have you of the needs of others? Do you actively listen? Have you empathy? Are you a change maker? How do others view this? Are you coercive, manipulative, autocratic, controlling, commanding, or hierarchical? How do you make your life meaningful? How could you improve your direction in life? Do you cherish the good things in life? Do you practice self control?
By Wendy Stokes https://Wendystokes.co.uk
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