Humanistic Psychology has the basic premise that we are born as pure and loving organisms (unlike many religious views that we are born evil). As pure and loving beings, appreciating closeness, nurturing and contact (no mammal species survive without it), we are on our way at birth to receive and give love and appreciation. This natural loving ability is also a means to heal and relate to others and to develop ourselves as powerful, creative and spontaneous. In the past, we were told we were born evil, and needed to have that evil removed from us through schooling, home life and through parental and teacher relationships. This oppression causes us to bottle up our true emotions, and we do not utter our real thoughts which are obstructed and suppressed rather than release them appropriately, whilst respecting and caring for others and understanding that they have suffered abuse under this misguided belief.
When we swallow our frustrations, pretend we are not afraid, and hide our grief, our happiness and feelings of love also become compromised. We feel inhibited and constrained by our conditioning. and we are less able to make choices that are healthy for ourselves and our loved ones. Frequently, addictions are common or the use of drugs, relationships and obsessions are used as a crutch to help push all feelings down, even good ones.
Many seek counselling and therapy with someone whom they can speak to about their lack of comfort in being themselves. The therapist/counsellor assists with uncovering the distress and releasing the bottled up hurt. We come to the realisation that we are not evil since birth, needing to be reprimanded for expressing our feelings and our needs. As we uncover the distress, we also begin to realise the wonderful and good things in our lives, and can feel loving, excited and tender emotions once again. Our lives become more fulfilling and productive, we laugh more and have greater insights and understanding. Many of the obsessional crutches and addictions disappear and we can feel whole once again - just as we were originally!
Wendy Stokes is a Holistic and Intuitive Counsellor: Visit: https: wendystokes.co.uk
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