Maturity

 I was looking at maturity between men and women, and though one finds exceptions, women are generally maturer than men and this is probably why many partnerships occur between men who are a few  years older than their female partner. The problem with a lack of maturity is that it hurts the person themselves, often through a lack of self discipline, and hurts those around them, and sometimes society itself. Immaturity is so wasteful. Mature people are reliable, conscientious contributors to health and life, for those around them and for society too. 

Why should this be? Females are introduced to care giving roles while they are still children often encouraged to look after dolls and then other younger children. When they reach their menarche, around the very early teenage years, they realise their body is preparing each month to bear a child. This monthly process continues for around thirty years, and can have uncomfortable effects, headaches, stomach aches, iron anaemia, etc. Pregnancy too has its difficulties, especially around working life. Child bearing and child rearing and baby health care are usually also the expected role of women. Toilet training, eating with cutlery, walking, talking, reading, and the teaching of the proper behaviour of a polite and peaceful child is often also seen as women’s work. Women are also expected to be the home makers and home managers and often are the care givers within the family, to care for the older generation. These duties require great altruism, empathy, responsibility, thoughtfulness and consideration. The delayed gratification of placing another’s wishes before one’s own is a self sacrifice that many around the world have no choice but to make. 

 In comparison, boys have few natural initiations into manhood. Boys and girls when young have their mother as their loved role model, but a boy cannot grow up to be like his mother as a girl can. A boy needs to realise he must walk over a bridge towards manhood. Many boys are reluctant, even angry that they have no female to mother and spoil them any more. Without a male role model a boy can get lost during this process as he tries to find his manhood, separate from female emphasis. Boys, spoilt at home, have expectations of women beyond entitlement. Entitlement and gratification are strong motivations for males. There might be no ability to delay gratification, empathise with others in need, anger might not be mitigated and instead expressed expressed without compassion or understanding. Boys grow into adult men who are still demanding children at heart, insisting that they come first, and pushing others out of the way without kindness. What can be done? There are training groups, books, new role models with depth of character and ease of expression. Time to step up to the plate and be a real man who can feel and show love, be accountable for their actions, put their family first, avoid addictions, get a job, drive carefully, show caring to the world! We all need for men to become mature in all societies that will gain by such development of mind and heart. 

By Wendy Stokes https://Wendystokes.co.uk