You can’t talk lovingly to your loved ones when you want to. You can’t work on a project that interests you. You don’t make love and would like to. You sit in the house all day and brood. You don’t take part in enjoyable activities, because of a leftover, annoying feeling. You can’t introduce yourself to someone who appeals to you. You avoid talking to someone when a simple gesture would improve your relationship. You can’t sleep because something is bothering you. When your anger keeps you from thinking clearly. You say something abusive to someone that you love. Your face twitches and you are so nervous that you don’t function the way you want to.
All negative emotions result in some degree of self immobility. Is there a payoff/ secondary gain?
It is a tough assignment to be happy. Your ultimate freedom is to have choices.
Dr Wayne Dyer on self acceptance and love:
Love. is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you. If you are secure in yourself, you neither want nor need others to like you. You are unique. You are good loving yourself and you are able to love others, to give to others. You’re not giving for thanks or payoffs but because of genuine pleasure you get from being a helper or a lover. If you are worthless what is your love be worth? If you can’t give love, neither can you receive it. Self love takes place with good boundaries and without conceit. Do your best to give and receive love at every opportunity. Don’t look for approval from others, get it from yourself. Choose people who make you happy to be with them. You are always responsible for how you feel and how you deal with others.
Dr Wayne Dyer on guilt and shame:
The past is over. Is guilt holding up your life? Make a list of all the bad things you have done and forgive yourself. Eliminate anxiety. What is the worst thing that can happen? Face your guilt, shame and worries. Try not to judge others or yourself. Be flexible in your thinking, especially avoid perfectionism. End procrastination. Say farewell to blame, anger, and shame. Procrastination needs action. Building new and good memories allays guilt and shame and moves towards the enjoyment of success and happiness.
Article by Wendy Stokes https://wendystokes.co.uk
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