Writing Autobiography

The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Oscar Wilde

Don’t just remember what happened! Relive and reflect on episodes of the past as though it is happening today. Write in the present tense! Write like you are writing to a dear friend whose relationship you treasure!  Don’t forget to say how you feel, and include your thoughts, not just circumstances. Live your truth and describe it with good language skills and with as few repetitions as possible. You are unique, your story is unique, don’t copy anyone else. Make it deep. Make it exciting. Make it live! Send shivers down spines, make your reader gasp, make them tell their friends about the excitement! Write from your heart, mean every word. Write and write, but your spontaneity is required. At the end, edit, and edit bigtime, especially avoid being presumptuous, up staging or praising yourself too highly. Take out the ‘shitty committee’ and if you do criticise, end with compassion. We don’t walk in the shoes of others, and if we are in their shadow, look for our own mistakes within that uncomfortable relationship. 

Claim your story! Write for yourself - readers will relate to you better than you can relate to your readers. There needs to be light and darkness, different moods, joys, tragedies, difficulties, burdens overcome, outcomes not expected, people described in all their variety, places experienced, coldness followed by warmth, followed by enlightenments and revelations shared. What is the motive for your memoir? Please don’t say ‘to make money’ because unless you are an international star, your time will never be paid for. Revenge, therapy, for your grandchildren, to raise yourself out of obscurity, setting a record straight, to make others laugh or to share your life wisdom? You will discover your reason usually after you have written it! All these and more will be part of your life story!

Remember that publishing your memoir might not bring the validation, redemption or adulation you hope for. Readers are critical of autobiographies as they often have a diet of hilarious comedy, and the sexual exploits of the rich and famous on their ready reading list. They will tell you in their Amazon review comments! Expect them and anticipate them! You might not be able to compete with the best and they might not like you for it. However, if you have something new and important to say, readers usually get the message and appreciate you for it. Make is personal, as we all love to make connections through reading personal stories. Share your vulnerabilities, your mistakes and faux pas, don’t white wash life’s most extraordinary experiences. Shame exists in silence. We are only as sick as our secrets! 

Write about the things you hide from, and the difficult memories and assiciations. Impart all the wisdom that you have gained during your life. Love writing about yourself. If you hate it, it will show! Write regularly each day. Find a quiet time to be alone with your thoughts. Be thoughtful to others - you might think they have no right of reply but posterity might be more generous than you are. If you perform a character assassination, make sure you include their good points too! People we wrong in print have longer memories than we have. Anger should be a creative force that changes us - and dumping is ungracious!

Article by Wendy Stokes https://wendystokes.co.uk

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