Dear Wendy: I was very hurt recently when a friend who invited me to her party made comments about the way I dress, saying I looked like I have just walked out of a jumble-sale. She spends all her money on botox and the latest fashions while I am a family person, not interested in fripperies. My grandson almost died recently and I have felt very down. Should I say something? Laura from Swindon
Dear Laura: Superficial people are only interested in what something looks like, not the true value of something. Your lack of concern for perishables will only show up her petty self-centredness. I can tell you are a kind person and this is of far more value and importance than the clothes you wear. You could say something like: ‘I felt hurt when you said this to me because I can’t see that what I wear should matter to anyone. I have had a great deal of anxiety recently and found your comment an added distress. I feel as though caring for others is more important that fussing over myself.’ In this way you can own your feelings, explain why you felt so hurt, and avoid blaming her for her self-obsessions.
