Our lives have changed significantly since the pandemic. Many people have lost jobs, homes, friendships, some have lost their health, others are suffering from bereavements or think their futures have radically changed. We are spending long hours at home, working or caring for family members, some are caring for and educating children, many are alone and missing social occasions. Love is even more important now than ever before!
Counsellors are frequently asked questions about love and partnerships and these are not easy to answer! We need to concentrate on giving love in order to receive it and that is usually achieved through empathy (which is being able to feel what others can feel), to laugh with them when they laugh and grieve with them when they grieve. Love gives us a wonderfully energising feeling of connection, wonder and excitement. Love boosts our confidence and has been found to be exceptionally good for our mental and physical health. Yet, it is full of difficulties because human beings are complex and we need to listen and become aware of how the other is feeling and understand and be sympathetic.
How can we attract more love into our life? There are several basic requirements for any good relationship, whether it is to family, work colleagues, neighbours, friends or lovers. We do not achieve good relationships if we are selfish ego-freaks and stressful to be around or have any kind of addiction. Like the instructions at the Greek temple of Delphi, we must ‘know ourselves’ and do ‘everything in moderation’. We also need to walk a spiritual path.
Spiritual Path Values: patience,
forgiveness, humility, kindness, equality, caring, consideration, compassion,
honesty, optimism, service to others, tranquillity, helpfulness, offering
support.
The Greek philosophers have given us many words to describe different types of love. Caritas is the friendship we have for our family and neighbours; Agape is a love that is spiritual, altruistic, charitable and unconditional; Pragma is compatibility, practicality and convenience; Philutia is affection, kindness and understanding; Storg is dutiful, responsible, faithful and loyal; Eros is sexual attraction and erotic passion; Ludus is playful and immature infatuation; Mania is self-centred, obsessive and possessive addiction; Narcissism is self-love, self-seeking, entitled and demanding. These are the common ways love is expressed - so choose the way you give and receive wisely.
This Valentine’s Day falls every February 14th. This is a date to express romantic love. Birds begin mating as the days get warmer and lengthen, and because they often mate for life, they are symbols of loyalty and devotion. Romantic love is hollow unless there is a deeply felt admiration to accompany it. However, it can be a special day to contact all friends and family to tell them how you feel about them. If possible, find a way to express your love for those around you.
Poem: “You have it all wrong! You didn’t come here to master unconditional love! You came here to learn about personal love, crazy love, broken love, whole love, love infused with divinity that is lived through the grace of stumbling, and that is demonstrated through the beauty of messing up, often! You didn’t come here to be perfect, but to be human, flawed yet fabulous, and to rise again into remembering about the feeling of love. But unconditional love? Love does not need any qualifiers or modifiers. It does not require perfection. It asks only that you show up and do your best, that you stay present and feel fully, that you shine and fly and laugh and cry, that you hurt and heal and fall, and that you get up again, and play and work and live and die – as you – and that’s enough!” Anonymous
There are boxed sets of card decks and instruction booklets that I recommend rather than a bouquet of red roses as a Valentine gift. Here is my tarot card favourite and two of my oracle card favourites that you can read for yourself or for another person and are ideal for all age groups and for either experienced or novice readers. So – buy a deck and choose a card and phone your friends to read them a love message.
The Enchanted Lovers Tarot – The Lover’s Guide to Dating, Mating and
Relating by Amy Zerner and Monte Farber are published by Red Feather. All tarot
readers should invest in this deck. The extensive text in the full colour book
is by Monte Farber and includes insightful and timeless advice on how to how to
attract love and improve relationships in general by admitting mistakes, making
decisions mutually, and problem solving. In addition to advice for each card,
Monte also provides spells, rituals and enchantments for self- improvement. The
card artwork on each of the 78 cards is a stunning tapestry and embroidery by
Amy Zerner. Excellent value for £23.99
Whispers of Love Oracle Cards – for attracting more love into your life. These highly enjoyable cards are by Angela Hartfield who is based in Hawaii. The images are artworks by the UK visionary artist, Josephine Wall, and they are published by Blue Angel. There are 50 quality cards so the price is exceptionally good at £13.99.
The Heart Path Oracle Cards – Miraculous Messages of Love by Nadine Gordon-Taylor, a New York artist and gallery owner who provides the text and the artwork for the images. Published by Inner Traditions/Bear & Co. The deck is designed to resonate with the vibration of unconditional love and contains a lot of information, so I would almost describe it as a course in soul work that focusses on love and caring. You get plenty of your money at £25.
There are many ways we can increase love and improve our quality of life and health by finding activities that give us a feeling of joy and contentment. A love of music, art, dance, books, beauty, nature, culture, home decorating, fundraising, volunteering and charity work, handicrafts, cooking, creating and connecting can give us a reason to connect with others for adventure or interesting conversation. Many activities we can also do alone and these also provide the ‘feel good’ factor experienced when in love. The more we find to enjoy, the more our love hormones counteract stress and provide us with vitality, good humour and happiness. This February, make love the centre of your thoughts and actions!
By Wendy Stokes first published in Psychic News Magazine February 2021
Visit https://wendystokes.co.uk
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