Celebrating Love in London

 ‘Love, soft as an easy chair, love, fresh as the morning air; One love that is shared by two, I have found with you. Like a rose under the April snow, I was always certain love would grow; Love, ageless and evergreen, seldom seen by two. You and I will make each night a first, every day a beginning; Spirits rise and their dance is unrehearsed, they warm and excite us, 'cause we have the brightest love.’ ‘Evergreen’ song lyrics by Paul Williams and Barbra Streisand:

St Valentine was a Christian saint who lived 270AD. His name derives from the Latin word ‘valens’ which means ‘worthy’ and ‘powerful’. He is the patron saint of lovers, travellers and bee keepers. He is depicted with roses and birds. His feast day is on February 14^th.  Like birthdays, anniversaries and other special and memorable occasions, Valentine’s Day is a ‘feel good day’ that should be celebrated by everyone. Traditionally, this is a day of romance, held this month because the birds are singing to each other (many mate for life) and are preparing to find a place to build a nest suitable to rear their young. All of nature is energised as the days increase in length. It is a time for tenderness, sweetness, beauty, comfort, connection, intimacy, luxury, sincerity, delight, pleasure and desire.

While romantic couples buy each other cards and gifts, cook a nice meal and pay each other compliments, those without a partner often feel lonely. Often, a word of appreciation can make someone’s day. Romance is not the only type of love. This is the day to celebrate all relationships, those of family, friends, neighbours and work colleagues. Love exists between people whenever there is affection, consideration, thoughtfulness, generosity and warmth. The Greeks had different words for different types of love, ‘eros’ which was erotic love, ‘caritas’, which was caring love, and ‘agape’, which was compassionate love. There was also self-love, which was named Narcissism after the youth, Narcissus, who fell in love with his reflection in a pool of water. Vanity has a rather negative connotation. Our personality needs balance and maturity and only when we develop a level of self-respect and positive self-regard, are we able to offer ourselves in equality, humility, openness and genuineness to another person.    

Yearning for the Moon by Jocelyn Chaplin

Therapist, Jocelyn Chaplin in her book ‘Love in an age of Uncertainty’ writes: ‘Everyone wants love. But exactly what each person means by that elusive little word depends on their belief system... many people think of love as a thing to get or possess like everything else in our consumer society… The ecstasy of falling in love generally lasts for a tragically short period of time, and yet this is for many their only time of experiencing being fully alive and in touch with the life force. When this fades, the ensuing disappointment often gets blamed on the other person. It seems that a sense of ultimate aloneness is just too much for most people to bear…The modern myth tells us that this alone feeling will go away only when we find the perfect partner to be 'kept' as long as possible. I would like to suggest an alternative myth that doesn't devalue the power of that ecstatic energy we also call being in love. The myth goes as follows: We are all born tingling with love energy all over our bodies and interconnected with similar energies in the universe around us… It is our natural ,birth right… Sometimes other people or situations help inspire these feelings, but they don't need to depend on others. This love energy actually belongs to us… It is simply being fully alive… It can take many forms… healing… Eros and Agape (compassionate love).’

What this day does is it provides the opportunity for us to talk about love to everyone, to our loved ones especially, telling them how important they are to us, how much we love and appreciate them, buy them gifts, send them loving messages, and most of all, deepen our love for them and from them to ourselves. Love stimulates brain chemicals called Norepinephrine and dopamine and these produce feelings of wellbeing and excitement. 

Published in Kindred Spirit Magazine: Article by Wendy Stokes https://wendystokes.co.uk